Smells of My Memory

When my oldest sister, Betsy died in the hospital, there was a peculiar smell of the hospital that I associated with her. While she was in the hospital, we were all at home with relatives trying to comfort us and pray with us, when I smelled the smell in the hallway. Minutes later, we got the phone call that she passed away. My little niece woke up from her nap and told everyone that Aunt Betsy had come and kissed her goodbye. Many times during important events, I would smell this smell. I smelled it at my high school graduation, when I started college 800 miles away in South Carolina, and when I got married. I know that when I smell this, that she is with me and celebrating my happy events.

My mother smoked ever since she was a young girl until she died. She smoked Chesterfield cigarettes with no filter and by the time she died at 59 years old, she was smoking pretty heavily. I had only seen my mother go to the doctor once so I know there was no doctor advice for her to quit. Because she smoked so much, all of her clothes and her skin reeked of this kind of nicotine smell. They even smelled after she washed her clothes and after she bathed herself. I believe these toxins were oozing from her skin pores. It was such a strong smell that I associate it with it as her smell. You know how you can smell a cologne or perfume and associate it with a specific person? Well, this was her smell and I never smelled it from anyone else ever since. After she died in Florida, I would smell this smell every once in awhile around my house and believed that she was there trying to comfort me.

Once time my husband and I was in the car arguing because as usual, I got us lost while trying to read a map (I’m a terrible navigator!). All of a sudden, we both smelled the smell from the back seat. My husband said, “That’s your mother, and she’s in this car with us, isn’t she?” And I said, “I think so,” but we stopped arguing. I was afraid to look in the back seat in case I saw her and I didn’t know how I would react. Once we found our way, the smell went away.

Isn’t it funny how I associated strong, I would even say unpleasant, smells with people. I can think of one for my husband but I hate to think that my memories of him will involve onions and passing gas. LOL!

Photo credit: smelling the flowers by msspider66