Blog Prompt: Things I wish I had known when (graduated, got first job, married, had first child, etc)Since it is our 26th wedding anniversary today, I will write about things I wish I had known when I first got married. Keep in mind that the first year we were married, we fought like cats and dogs, so I am so glad that we have made it to 26!
1. How to Compromise – we were both babies of the family and we each wanted our way, all of the time. Over the years we have learned to give in or at least meet half way. When I don’t want to do something he wants to do, I remember all the times that he has done something for me that he really didn’t want to do. It makes it easier for me to compromise then.
2. How to Argue – Growing up my parents didn’t argue in front of the children so I thought a good marriage was one where people didn’t argue. That first year there were many things I wasn’t happy about but I stuck it all in my mental closet. Then when we had a fight, everything from the past 3 months would come tumbling out. Then we started arguing over stuff that happened 3 months ago. I realized how could my husband act differently if he never knew at the time what was bugging me. Now I try to tell him when things bug me and not hold on to them for a long time.
3. How to Communicate – we talk to each other about everything and we are honest with each other. Over the years we have talked a lot about our marriage and what works for us. Things that work for other people might not work for us and that is okay.
4. Arguing isn’t the end of the world – just because you argue doesn’t mean that you hate each other. It is a great way to clear the air. It is one way of communicating your dislikes. Everything can’t be a bed of roses all of the time or you wouldn’t appreciate the good times.
5. Winning isn’t everything – sometimes it doesn’t matter who wins the argument. Marriage shouldn’t be a power struggle to see who the winner is.
6 comments:
Fantastic advice for newlyweds or those of us who aren't!
Great post. Thank you for sharing your lessons learned. You wrote some things that I needed to read.
Amen! Congratulations on your anniversary. I wish I would have read your post 7 years ago right before Neilston and I got married.
I needed that part about compromising! Thanks for sharing your wisdom. I admire you.
Congratulations!
My husband and I are both the oldest children in our families - two strong personalities. We had to learn to compromise and, failing that, how to move past disagreements.
Working so far - 35 years in September.
Happy Belated Anniversary. Sorry I missed it. You advise is perfect for newlyweds and not so newly-wedded. :) Thanks for it.
Post a Comment